What is there to say about 2015? It was a crazy year personally, professionally, locally and globally. Change is eternal; sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s not. However it isn’t whether we can control the changes, but how we handle what comes our way.
There were some things about myself I learned this year. One of them is that I’m emotionally stronger than I thought I was. I’m helping my mother care for our ailing aunt. This is not an easy task and we’ve only just scratched the surface. This is going to get more difficult as we get closer to the end. The time we spend with her is special to us so we make the most of what time is left. Do I cry, yes of course I do. I try harder to cherish the memories we already have and make some new ones now so that I have them to look back and smile on.
I’m more capable and talented than I thought I was. I started a new job
mid-year in 2014 that was more demanding than any job I have had previously. This is my first job as an admin, not really a big deal, but it is for our inside sales department so I have a lot of people and things that fall onto my desk. Some tasks are easier than others and for the
woman who is not the most organized person on the planet it can be challenging. I spent the first six months in my position thinking I’d made a huge mistake, that I wasn’t cut out for it, and I started to look for other jobs. Thankfully I made it to my 1 year anniversary feeling much calmer and more confident. A year and 1/2 later I realize that I’m okay, the position is okay and instead of viewing it as just another chore or job I’m seeing this as a challenge to rise up to and conquer. What helped me transition was getting more involved in the company. I stepped out of the cubicle, interacted with other people in the different departments, built relationships, volunteered to help out with things that weren’t necessarily my responsibility, and joined in the “Friday Fun Day” activities that our company does from time to time. 2016 will bring more challenges for me to face, but I know that with practice and patience I will achieve more than I already have.
The last success was learning to take a step back and re-evaluate the people and things in my life that hold me down or that keep me from progressing as a person. It was sad to have to say goodbye to some people, but letting go is part of life and if I was unhappy with those relationships I’m sure they were too. It’s never a one way street with relationships, it always takes all parties to make it work. Not a revelation, but being able to accept this and do what I needed to do was an aspect I’d never dealt well with. That’s a giant personal achievement there!
While there were steps forward, there were also steps back. I’m going to take those and use them as starting points for 2016. My weight; that ever difficult battle I’ve fought since my teen years, is the biggest one I’m going to take head on. I will get myself back onto a healthy life style. I want to make the changes so that they are for life, not for just the moment. Slow and steady will probably be best approach and I am looking forward to what is going to happen. I know I will ultimately be more stable physically with effort and discipline.
Another step back was allowing the negative things get to me. I lost my sense of perspective and took too many things to heart that I really had no control over. Part of that came from being afraid to set boundaries. I was letting people walk on me, creating stress and resentment. While not standing up for myself is on me, another person treating me poorly is on them. I’m going to work harder at not taking things personally and not letting the negative things around me take deep roots in my life.
All in all 2015 wasn’t a bad year when I objectively look back on it. The areas I made progress in are definite wins. The areas I didn’t make much progress in are good places to start setting life goals.
Goodbye 2015, we had fun. 2016 *rubbing hands together* lets do this one step at a time and go further than we have before!